I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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