can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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