how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
