oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
