Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
