This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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