you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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