So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Michael Bay diarrhea
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
