I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
