is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
