you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
