Banned from zoo.
Again?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
