There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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