I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
PS: I just woke up from my shower
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize