But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
