swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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