i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
