All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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