he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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