Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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