She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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