Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
