my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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