I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
