Dual....:-)
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
