Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
