its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My first STD was from a foam party
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
