Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
