i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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