dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize