My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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