Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
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