i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
