if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
