i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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