so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
