the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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