my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
