Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
