He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
