i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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