Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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