I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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