If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
