apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize