very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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