Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
