just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
