I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Come on in and take your pants off
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
