come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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