yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize