In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You were trust falling into bushes
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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