I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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