It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
