I wanna passion pit in your ass
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
