Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
