Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
