Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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