Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
