The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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