he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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