I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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