I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
