She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
