No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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