So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
