He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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